I’m really coming to love living in Shoalwater (about an hour south of Perth). Despite the fact that it’s basically south of the middle of nowhere, it’s starting to grow on me. Something about the seabreeze each day and the peek of the beach at the end of my street makes me feel like “holiday”, like “relax”.
The traffic here is more funny than scary, as it is closer to the city. Your random driver is most likely going to be a young person going 10km+ over the speed limit or an old person going 10km under the speed limit. Something about cruising around with the window open, the wind pouring in, my iPod pumped, it makes me happy.
Even the big shopping centre, which would normally be a major source of anxiety, is fairly pleasing to me. I can’t get too worried about people watching and talking about me; they’re all such bogans down here, the Centrelink is packed, and the feeling is once again very relaxed.
I went down to the beach today and stood in the waves and concentrated very hard on the fact that I was balancing carefully between two worlds. And while too much of being landlocked or at sea is a terrifying thought, knowing i could easily pass back and forth between the two environments made it better.
I’ve had good times and bad times in my life, especially, oh, over the last six years. Today I fully grasped the idea that it was not always my life which was “good” or “bad” but rather my mood. I will admit that being able to hold this thought and use it to garner my strength during the worse moods is going to be difficult. The simple difference between life being good and life being bad is how good or bad I feel about life, and sometimes there is just the chemically imbalanced badness in my mind which won’t accept any more positive thoughts. I always used to scoff at the idea of positive thinking and affirmations and stuff. It all sounds so new-agey touchy-feely-healy bullshit, but it doesn’t need to be. Like my dad said, some days you’re going to wake up and you are just on the wrong side of the bed and it’s ok to skip out on life for a day and just chillax. But the other days, they all at least show promise for improvement and you’ve got to damn well tough it out.